Loathingly

He’s handsome, but not in the beautiful way. Not in the mysterious or artistic way, though I suppose he looks at himself as an artist of sorts, the old tosser. He’s good looking in that arrogant, douche-bag-ish way, though I’m not sure he appreciates the distinction enough to acknowledge it. He’s always donning that smug smirk that suggests he owns the world and all others pay cash.

Most women find themselves drawn to him. After all, bad boy is right up there with magnetic objects and they seem to have the same effect. I’ve never felt it. I’ve never had any urge or feeling towards him, except for those on the opposite end of the spectrum. Whilst some women fantasize about using his scarf to bind his wrists to bedposts, I can think of far more creative uses for such articles of clothing, such as a noose. After all, with five or more women under his belt as it is, I don’t intend to be his next quarry.

I feel it only fair to say that I have strong feelings for this man. Have you ever loathed someone so much, that if they suddenly disappeared from your life, you would be so bored without the conflict and confrontations that you would actually go looking for trouble? He’s eloquent in his insults, ruthless in his pursuit, and just as determined when it comes to getting what he wants. Is it wrong to hate someone for seeing everything you are in them? At least intentions are what separate us. Without my ideals, there would be no line between us. I admire him; respect him, not as a person, but as an adversary.

He’s not a man who can feel love, that I know for certain. Not real love, just his perversions that he’s deluded himself into thinking are affections. I am not being biased, I am simply stating facts that support my thesis:


Jack Knurren is a complete arse. A crude, Eurotrash German with the genius and manipulative capacity and abilities of a disillusioned sociopath.

By such standards, it should be logically impossible for him to feel anything, especially love in its simplest form, let alone in the romantic sense.

So of all times, why now, and for God’s sake, why me?!